Dancing with Self Doubt

815492_computer_frustrationI totally forgot about posting yesterday, but then I’ve been a bit of a Swiss cheese brain lately. I’ve got a boatload of things on my plate the least of which is organizing a conference.  I went to karate class last night as I do on most Mondays and had was lucky enough to get promoted to Advanced Brown belt. While it’s very exciting and thrilling there is still a small part of my brain that asks how the heck I got here because I don’t have a clue what I’m doing.  I watch some of the other students and for them the moves just seem to flow so naturally and that is no not me.  I more often then not feel about as awkward as a new born deer stumbling my way through the moves. I swear if I were ever in a real fight and some point I would say Stop, I screwed that move up. Let me start over.  I have to assume though that I’m doing something right or my sensei wouldn’t keep promoting me. I try to keep telling myself that with time will come fluidity. That the more I do it the more second nature the moves will become.

It’s funny though, I often feel the same way when it comes to writing. I feel like I grind and struggle with my stories while everyone around me is flowing along leaving pages of brilliant prose in their wake.  The logical part of my brain knows I’m not the only one banging my head against a wall, but it doesn’t stop those moments of self doubt and frustration. I think it’s part of the creative personality type. Still how do you combat those moments. How do you keep them from stopping you in your tracks. Honestly, I wish I had a good answer for that, but I don’t.  I tend to muscle and stubborn my way through.  I love my stories. I love my characters and their stories and I want to share them.  If that’s what I want then I just have to keep at it until eventually I get where I want to go. Of course, when I get really frustrated I go to karate class and hit something.

I now pose that question to you. How do you keep moving forward when those voices in your head are making every efforts derail you?

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